Our cravings are often a signpost for our childhoods. At least, mine are. As a vegetarian who found her meatless existence well into adulthood, I often get asked, "What do miss most?" My nostalgic answers always surprise people. Spam, for instance. "That's not even real meat!" my brother-in-law protested. That's more like a meat-ish conglomerate."
Jamaican beef patties are another one. A lot of my Southern friends scratch their heads in puzzlement I mention them, but street-cart-loving New Yorkers know all about the beef patties. If you just glanced at the picture, I know what you're thinking.
Uhh...Jane? That looks like a crimped piece of radioactive pastry.
But I promise this is one case where looks are deceiving. With their yellow, turmeric-stained flaky shell and a steamy, spicy meat filling, I not only adored beef patties as a child; they were one of my favorite public school lunches.
When I initially converted to a vegan diet for health reasons in my late twenties, I was prepared to close the door on Jamaican beef patties for good. And truly, I haven't looked back. I've since discovered a joy for whole foods and plant-based cooking. But food technology has also come a long way, paving a convenient path toward occasional or permanent meatlessness. We herbivores no longer need to relegate ourselves to the sad side salads proprietors add to the menu as an afterthought; the faux meat world is our pretty and pearled oyster.
I've been an enormous fan of Beyond Meat and Impossible Meat since their launch years ago. Both of them have made it possible for me to suddenly find food at more restaurants and even fast food places (Like the Impossible Whopper. Try it if you haven't!). They resemble meat so uncannily - in both taste and texture - that there are some hard core vegans who still refuse them.
Obviously, not I. So when I recently found these at Publix, I nabbed a few boxes and made a home for them in our own freezer, waiting for the perfect moment to try them. That moment came today, when my body decided it hadn't had enough excitement with a spring flu last week; it needed a urinary tract infection to boot. It wasn't my first one, but it was the worst one I'd had by far. The urgent care doctor pushed a bottle of drugs into my hand and firmly reminded me that I should take it with food. In no mood to cook, I decided this was definitely the right time for a taste test.
Preparation is as easy as it gets. Keep the patty in its heat-safe envelope but open it just a slit to avoid causing a faux-meat explosion in your microwave. Then swallow one of the magic healing antibiotics from your doctor, knowing that lunch will be ready in seconds.
The verdict? Sacre bleu. Longtime fans of Jamaican beef patties can finally rejoice at having their vegetarian brothers and sisters rejoin the party. It was just as I remembered, with that great blend of familiar spices that make a Jamaican beef patty what it is.
All that said, I need to add a disclaimer. This is a vegetarian food item, but it's definitely not health food. I find it hard to categorize any microwavable meal as healthy, and there's always a trade-off with faux meats because they're processed and sometimes heavier on the sodium than I'd like.
Today, though, this totally hit the spot. GoldenKrust, you've not only granted me a new option for fast eats but a direct line to an old childhood favorite. Thank you.
*Note: If you're looking to have your own beef patty adventure, I've found these pretty readily at Publixes (is that how Publix is pluralized?) all around Atlanta. They come in two flavors - mild or spicy - and if you're not shy about heat, spicy is most certainly the way to go.